I'm Not Better Than Your Ex

Am I really better than your ex? If we're dating, I should hope this goes without saying. You know, because I'm here now and, you know, there's a reason (or 500) that he/she isn't.

So, what's with pointing out that your new beau is "so much better than my ex"?

I've had my fair share of dramatic reactions when I've heard this phrase in the past. I even got into a fight with a boyfriend, because his mother said she thought I was better for him than his ex (yes, his mother!). And why do I get so mad when receiving what was clearly intended to be a compliment? Well, because it didn't really feel like a compliment.

I know what my boyfriend's mom meant. She liked me and thought I made her son happy. Oh, and she was jonesing for some grandchildren. But why didn't she just say that instead of reminding me that she still thinks about his ex?

Which is the real deal here. If I'm dating you, I don't want to think about your ex. In fact, I want you to be so into me that you don't even think about your ex. The good, the bad, or the ugly.

I want to warrant a warning label on my torso: Side-effects of having your mind blown by me include excitement, intense PDA, and localized amnesia.

Regardless of whether or not I'm truly capable of inducing a sexual-romantic fugue state, there are so many things better than comparing me to your ex. Here's a few suggestions for what you might really mean to say. Try one the next time you're tempted to compare a romantic interest to She (or He) Who Must Not Be Named.

10 Things That Are Actually Compliments

1. You are amazing.
2. You're beautiful/handsome/sexy.
3. You're brilliant.
4. You're crazy (in a good way).
5. You are hilarious (in a "so bad it's good" way).
6. I'm so happy we're together.
7. I can't stop thinking about you.
8. I have so much fun with you.
9. Thank you! (for doing the dishes, joking around with my friends, or just being generally awesome)
10. Or literally any other compliment that is 100% about you.

You are amazing and special and, yes, even a beautiful fucking butterfly. Who you are and what you can bring to this world is beyond compare.

You deserve to hear that. And so does the person you love.

<3
Betty